Some people think we are obsessive, deluded females with no purpose to direct our pathetic lives. Our friends, our families, even our librarians (what's with the raised eyebrows, Mrs. B? *glares*) and booksellers—supposed kindred souls—don't understand that we have legitimate reasons to feel... so intensely emotionally invested. We don't just act all bizarro for NO REASON. That would be senseless, indicative of insanity. We are perfectly lucid, clear-minded individuals with strong feelings that sometimes... overwhelm us. That isn't so bad, right? *beams*
And besides we fangirls are not all the same. Imagine if we were all rabid she-beasts obsessed with a few fictional characters or out-of-reach celebrities. Males would be a terrified sub-species, reduced to boarding up their homes and walking to their mailboxes with branches on hand, ready to beat down this psychotic breed of walking XY chromosomes. Trust me, things could be far worse than they are. AND we are not alone in our obsessions. What's a sorority without a fraternity nearby? The boys can get a little crazy too. The Twi-guys are not an invisible clan of Twilight fans. They totally exist.
Don't hate on the fangirls. And, more importantly, it's okay to be like us. There's no shame in being a tad overzealous about the things you love. Maybe you're a little uncertain. Confused as to whether you make the cut, of whether or not you're a true fangirl (or boy). Perhaps it's time to diagnose yourself once and for all. There are varying degrees of fangirlism and different signs that tell us which category we fall under.
First, let's start with the extremes.
1: Icons. Wouldn't Edward's lower lip look great as my Twitter icon?
2: Desktop Wallpapers. Maybe if I blow up this image of his entire mouth and have it greet me every time I log onto the computer it'll be easier to feel the texture of his kiss in my dreams. The psychology of it is nearly indisputable.
3: Posters. If I can't have his body, I will stare unabashedly at its gloriousness every day. If I stare into his eyes long enough, maybe I could send, like, a telepathic message to his mind, NO, better, his SOUL, and he'll come find me.
4: T-Shirts. I can convince everyone to love him too. I could just project his face off my boobs. I am not ashamed to use my body if it means spreading the love.
5: Camping. I've come to see Edward in the flesh. It's been 72 hours since I last saw my mom's face, ate a decent meal, and used something other than a bush to dispose of my urine. My love for him is not effing around. This is getting serious.
Have no fear, though. *smiles* There are versions in between.
Perhaps you are a:
You are disappointingly unable to form coherent words and phrases, but are reduced to animalistic, high-pitched sounds of delight.
You are in the next phase of fangirl evolution: you actually speak. Your vocal cords aren't just giving off unintelligible noises that cast suspicion onto your sanity. But, unfortunately, you can only repeat the same words and sentences, like a scratched disc that won't move passed that last lyric in the song.
As in talk others' ears off. You are deaf to all other topics of conversations. It's almost like that episode in Spongebob, when Spongebob is asked to clear his mind, and inside these Mini Spongebobs work to empty of it everything but his name. Same concept.
|From: Hyperbole and a Half|
You are singing your obsession's praises. You are listing and categorizing every excellent thing about it, adverse to communicating its flaws, because IT HAS NO FLAWS. And no one can tell you different. Instead, you are selling this obsession to your friends, your family, ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN, and are urging them to give whatever it is a solid whirl. You can't imagine that they don't want to hear what you have to say and that they look anything like this:
You are becoming violent. Haters get slapped, punched, clawed, kicked. You will force them into falling into the obsession with you. You can't be alone in your love.You refuse to be.
|I'VE JUST EFFED WITH YOUR MIND. I COMMAND YOU TO KEEP SMASHING YOUR FACE INTO THE DESK. WILL YOU READ IT NOW? DO YOU LIKE HIM NOW? NOW?! NOW?!?!?|
So, which fangirl are you?