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10 Things That Make Me Batshizz Crazy

So, I've just followed this blog. It's called Cuddlebuggery Book Blog, and I'm REALLY feeling it, know what I mean? Anyway, since I don't have a post this non-stop rainy day, I shall take a page from this wonderful discovery and follow suit on their 10 Crazy Things Book Bloggers Worry About. Because it's given me a serious inspiration face-lift, ya'll, so go check it out if you're in the mood for a quick dosage of Laugh Attacks. As for myself? I'm going to talk about things that send me headlong into a stunner of a panic attack. For serious.


1. You blogger, me stalker. I stalk you. You may not know it. You may know it, though I don’t know how you do. I watch you on Twitter. I glimpse your facebook. I stare at my Crack Reads list until I see your blog is updated. I mentally tell you I love you. Because it’s true. Your content sends me in awe at your intellect and humor. My question is CAN WE PLEASE BE FRIENDS NOW?

2. I’ll be reading this book… next July. I know of at least five books that have been patiently be waiting to be read… since last year. I can’t name them for you because it’s nine-thirty at night and inside I am as old as your grandmother and my internal clock is ready to shutdown. Even so, POOR, POOR THINGS. They’re totally handling the neglect well, but I’m afraid I may have done too much damage.

3. When I grow up, I’m going to get a job. TO PAY FOR ALL THESE LIBRARY FINES. I didn’t think it was possible to rack up so much at a place of fellow book lovers who lend out books… but there you have it. Another cold, harsh reality of the world. I cringe inside a little every time I see the unforgiving lines of my attendant when I tell him or her I don’t have the money. I toss and turn in the night wondering when they’ll show up at my house with scary demands.

4. GIVE ME MORE ARCS… No wait, PLEASE don’t! Unless I ask! Gosh, darn, I love ARCs. Who doesn’t, really? And there’s that greedy side of me that’s all, Give me all your ARCs. in my best imitation of a hooded person with a water gun in his/her pocket and very creepy deep voice. And then there’s the other side, the SANE side, that says, You can make those irrational demands when you’ve finished all your other books like a good little girl, to which I have to check the urge to whisper, Yes, mummy.

5. Your blog layout gives me epilepsy in the eyes. I really shouldn’t say things like that, ‘cos it’s not a joke, you know? I know some people. BUT IT’S THE TRUTH. My eyes seize away when I am blinded by your layout that looks like you whipped out all of your highlighters and LET YOURSELF GO. While I appreciate artistic creativity, or insanity *shrugs*, WHATEVS, my eyes beg you to restrain yourself.

6. They don’t follow me because they love me, they love me because they follow me. I worry about that, ya’ll. Giveaways are fun and all but would it kill you to not be so INVISIBLE, SILENT, and (possibly) DEADLY? Thanks!

7. "Your review has received ZERO comments… beeeeep." You know that feeling when you work on a review for AN HOUR OR TWO and you schedule it like the responsible blogger you are and everything, and then you wake up one morning to NO COMMENTS. Zilch. Nada. Strike OneTwoThree. I haven’t shed any tears yet, but, boy, I’ve *head-desk*ed OFTEN.

8. I tweeted you every day, Awesome Giveaway, so why didn’t I win? That feeling of winning some ay-mazing bookish prize thrills and excites. Until that plummeting feeling hits and all anticipation drains because, alas, YOU DIDN’T WIN. I want a refund on all those 11:11 AM/PM wishes I made to be sure there was SUCCESS!

9. Homework, reading, reading, homework. Reading *nods*. Needless to say, I haven’t been doing very well in school lately. Still, that internal debate TAKES A LOT OUT OF ME. Not nearly as bad as hitting mile three on the treadmill, but almost as hard as passing up a second boston crème doughnut. Success rate is just barely 50-50.

10. Did you break your spellcheck? Those red squiggly underscores are not just the bane of your existence, or there to annoy you with ALL THE COLOR. And also, I wouldn’t mind if you let the grammar bee look over your content. And while you’re at it, could you make your review longer than three sentences. I’d like to, YOU KNOW, learn more THINGS. Wham, bam, thank you, man!

28 comments:

Sarah (saz101) said...

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! ASHER! YOUR DRAWING! SARAH LOVES IT! SARAH WANTS MOOOOOOOOOOOAR!

Things that make Sarah go crazy: Asher's awesome drawings :D hehehheheheehhehe!

"Your review has received ZERO comments… beeeeep."

Oh goodness... this. Yes. I know it's bad. I know I feel stupid, but it's like... WHY DOES NO-ONE LOVE ME!!!! *drops to knees and shakes fists at the heavens* WHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYY???!


*cough*

Have I mentioned I love you?

Also: *taps on your window* what was that about stalkers? *gives you innocent eyes*

Brodie said...

Hehehe! I pretty much copy/paste what Sarah says: I LOVE YOU, ASHER KNIGHT. ME MINE? I have been the suckiest commenter in Sucksville lately. I catch up on some, fall painfully behind on others. I have fallen painfully behind on yours. This makes me sad. 

This post? WIN.

YES to ARC's. I see them and I'm like, 'GIMME GIMME GIMME' *fangirl scream* but then I get overwhelmed by books to read and then there's MORE OMG ARC's I want and can't have and why does LOGIC EXIST? Bleugh.

ACK. Super white text, super black background? I DIE. Seriously hurts my eyes and then I click away back to the real world of white and AHHH the light of day! *hisses and shrinks back*

Oh my gosh. yes. And the comment one. Ten minutes after posting, I think "WHY THE F#^&$ did you post that? It's the worst review EVER. See? No one is commenting. Quick, post something else and bury it so no one will see it!"

Also: My inner stalker loves you more than Sarah's *lays under your bed and listens to you breathe*

Sarah (saz101) said...

I will FIGHT Brodie for your 'fections,  Asher! See how much I love you? I RESPECT YOUR BOUNDARIES! *shoves Brodie out of the way*

I even commented first :P

Stephanie Sinclair said...

Omg! Can we please be best friends?! Lol.

Annette said...

Great stuff. Made me laugh. Sort of an addendum to the last one..."I need more than a summary. I can get a summary lots of places, please tell me how you FELT about the book. (in more than one sentence.)"

Caitlin said...

LOL Truly love this post. All sooooo true. I went from "yes, I LOVE getting books without asking!!" to "noooo no more books nooo!"  loved it. Had a giggle! The comments thing...I think we ALL suffer from that, a lot. every day


The Cait Files

Devan said...

HA!  These are great!  I haven't had to deal with homework for the past year, but don't even get me started talking about job apps.  Once I do get a job it will turn into the overload of paper grading.  Thanks for visiting Book Strings the other day! If you're looking for a AMAZING Road Trip YA book then you must pick up In Honor by Jessi Kirby.  You will not be disappointed and it is perfect for a summer read.

Annie Wallace said...

{if i'm commenting i'm a follower}

That made me laugh in some places especially the stalking part and the ARCs lol - Thanks for sharing. 

{http://www.justonemorechapter.net}

Heidi said...

Lol, I love this post, it pretty much sums it up.  One of my greatest points of pride at the moment is that I've never had a fine at my current library.  I'm still embarrassed walking into my childhood library as I think I still owe them money, and still get shit stares from the clerks who remember the angry letters they had to send me to get me to dump books in the drop box at night when no one would see me.

I'm seriously like done with ARCs.  To the point that I'm changing my review policy to 'please don't pitch me your books, I don't have time'.  I figure if I want it that bad, I'll ask, because honestly too many feel like obligations and stressful and that's NOT what blogging should be!

Nothing breaks my heart like thinking no one read something I put lots of time into, and I'll admit I get annoyed when bloggers who do write 3 sentence reviews get more readers...*sigh*.  At least my blog will NEVER give anyone a seizure. 

April Books & Wine said...

BAHAHHAHA! This is all so true! Like, I would like more than just a summary of books. I like getting shiny new books in the mail, but then my purchased books feel neglected. And holy crap I get SOOOO sad if I have a reviewed scheduled at midnight and there are no comments when I wake up.

This whole post rocks my face off.

Asher Knight said...

Sure. When do we start? XD

Asher Knight said...

Wanna know what's on my drawings to do list? Sarah driving a hot car and me as a clumsy ninja XD

I DON'T WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MAKING YOU CRAZY. What happens afterward? i won't be able to fix it.

YEEEEEEEEEEES. I feel like everyone has decided to ignore me that in favor of bigger and better things. Then I start thinking hateful things to the peeps with large comment numbers.

Not today, you haven't. I LOVE YOU BACK, MY FRIEND :DDD

Stalkers? Did I say something about... STALKERS? Are you sure? *shifty eyes* *backs away from window*

Asher Knight said...

YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU ANYWAY, BRODIE. I know you like my blog :DD And that is ENOUGH for anyone ;)

AND YAY. So glad you liked this post. I KNOW I'm not the only one who feels like this but dammit I HAVE FELT SO ALONE IN MY THOUGHTS UP UNTIL NOW xD

When I see that I duck under my desk because I think my computer is about to explode or something and then I get my eyes adjusted under there and come back and click randomly until I close the window.

I FEEL LIKE THAT TOO. All I can think is, DID I O-FFEND? NOOOOOOO.

Is that so...? *huddles under covers*

Asher Knight said...

XDDDDD Of course you did! I know YOU would never crawl under my bed, right Sarah? Even if you had the perfect oppurtunity? 

Asher Knight said...

YAY. I wanted to give myself laughs because it was a really rainy day. Even better that someone else got a laugh out of it. YES. How am I supposed to know what to expect? What to get excited for? GIVE ME MORE DEETS.

Asher Knight said...

<333 The original on the other blog really inspired me and got me going, thinking about what my pet peeves are. I LOVE NEW BOOKS. But, dayum, I SURE HAVE A LOT to get through now. COMMENTS. Sometimes *sniffles* it's SO HARD.

Asher Knight said...

 I'm in my senior year of high school hence the slacking off. I just don't feel like putting up much of a fight against reading, especially when college is going to make it harder for me to be able to read. I JUST SAW AN AWESOME REVIEW FOR IN HONOR, so between your post and hers I'm SO READING IT. :D

Asher Knight said...

 I AM SO HAPPY YOU LOVE IT :D Oh, man, do I get some STARES? Once they read through my account, they're like, you know you owe X amount? And I'm all shrinking and whispering, Yeah. They look at me expectantly for a few seconds before realizing I'm not coughing up cash I sincerely don't have at the moment.

I don't know about DONE with ARCs... I'm too dependent on them sometimes. I get crazy. But I've been trying to tone it down. XD

RIIIIGHT? I'm like where are my comments disappearing? NO FAIR. XD I can agree on your blog. I LOVE YOUR BLOG.

Asher Knight said...

How many times do I read books that consist of nothing more than a recap of everything that happened? I WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU FELT, darnit. What was it LIKE?

I'm trying to be more responsible with my reading and requesting. It's getting harder and harder to keep up so I have to CHILL THE EFF OUT.

ISN'T THAT THE WORST FEELING? I get up at 6:30am during the week and I get so depressed when I see no comments. I comfort myself by rereading my post and trying to entertain myself so I don't feel sad XD

Lisa! said...

I love this to pieces.
The stalking.
The headdesking over NO COMMENTS.
The seizure of the eyes.

Most of all, the image at the bottom. I know you are, my friend. I know you are.

Heidi said...

Thanks Asher! <3

And I'm not totally done with ARCs...I still NetGalley it up on a regular basis, I'm just sick of getting books pitched to me that I have zero interest in reading. :P

Logan Turner said...

This is hilarious Asher! OMG I am so guilty of being a stalker.

Asher Knight said...

 Awww, Lisa *blushes* Thanks! Glad you were entertained. And that... well, you know... YOU CAN RELATE.

It's so nice to be understood. And the bottom is just a flash of my mad awesome doodling skillz XD

Asher Knight said...

 Hehe. So happy you got a few laughs out of these points! I am such a creepy twitter stalker. I wait for people to tweet things so I can visit the links and stuff. XD

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