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5 Traits You Need In a Blogger Friend

The weekend is nigh! Your life is already bound for a course of fun and relaxation, so let's throw in some funnies with Front Five Friday. (More)

1. Trustworthiness – No great love can be born until trust is established. You must look for the signs. For example, these people are not afraid to tell you when a book is crap in their reviews. They say like they please, while still being kind and informative. Their thoughts are cohesive, relatable, and well-written, which OBVS means they’re a good person, duh. Because only nice people write well and stuff. But, seriously, if all a blogger ever does is list ALL THE GOOD THINGS, then how can you be certain they’re telling the truth. No one wants to place their trust in a butt-smoocher. Kissing butts for them might feel good, but who knows WHAT they’d be spreading to you if you engaged in a conversation with them and asked for any sort of advice or opinion. 'Sides, you don't want an unrepentant liar for a compadre.



2. Book Bullying Tendencies – Once you’re certain of their power and dominance, it is time to take things a step further. Submit to their wishes as you’ve secretly wanted to do for a long time. (I feel like I’m forming a segue to How To Get Kinky 101, but just bear with me.) Half of the time you don’t know what you want to read, you’re unable to make these decisions for yourself because there are So Many Good Things, and how could you possibly choose? With a book bully for a friend, you never have to wonder. Because they will do horrible things to you until you read what they tell you, i.e. incessant nagging, stalking, etc. And, face it, you need that sort of constant push in order to get through your reading pile.

3. Mood Swings – Why is having a fellow blogger friend with mood swings important? Simple. You want someone who is going to just as easily tweet you something full of love, cheer, and support as you do someone who has a quicksilver temper. Not to be directed at you, mind you, but at your enemies and those evil authors (*cough* Sarah Rees Brennan *uncough*). Think of them almost like your body guard and best friend rolled into one person. A person you can rely on to sweetly lure you into a reading trap and cackle over their subtle manipulation and your subsequent torture, but then cyber-back slap anyone else who tries it. Get me?



4. Violence – In this way, violence isn’t too far behind. And once you’re sure that they don’t ONLY get angry, that they can be wise and clever as well, then you can be reassured that this person will hold you back when necessary but can just as easily join in the drop kicking buffet. Preferably, when talking to authors. You want someone on your side who understands you and can make the simple switch from defensive to offensive in a blink. They’ll either talk you out of verbal assault or pass you their extra pitchfork. It’s fun.

5. Stalking – That said you want a blogging friend who is also an unabashed stalker. Online and offline as well. Because where’s the fun to be had in doing it all by yourself (*snickers* don’t go there, even for a second)? When you get hauled in for harassment, you want someone there next to you who will absolutely play the harmonica to your glum singing in that awful jail cell. Just imagine a world in which a two-part harmony in prison couldn’t be had. All would be wrong.



You always want at least one partner in crime, otherwise shenanigans are less fun and more terrifying. You need that bond, the Angela to your Kami, Jem to your Will, Anna to your Cas, Myrnin to your… Well, you get the idea. Maybe I should’ve really titled this, How to Recruit Your Partner in Crime via Kinky Subtext...

...
Damn. There go my pageviews down the cyber toilet.

But anyway, without your other half... you're just a half. And if you're not satisfied with half a sandwich, half an hour of Vampire Diaries, half of a book, what makes you think you'll be satisfied with JUST HALF?

If you need any friendly recommendations, comment down below.

26 comments:

Jamie said...

Haha I love you! This is great!

James Booth said...

LOL love this list. What's the second picture from? The actress looks familiar.

Princess Ash said...

It's a certifiable check list. I don't know if it's from the show, but I think the actress is from Everybody Hates Chris which is buckets of LOLs all on it's own.

Princess Ash said...

Love ya back! xD

Ning @ DABR said...

haha what a great list!! and I totally agree. I mean, it's much more fun to have a partner in crime no matter what you do. Well, as long as that partner doesn't sell you out lol

Princess Ash said...

I'd like to know who YOU had as a partner and crime O_O

Caitlin said...

bahaha I love this (though I wish you would stop the hate directed at SRB, she is A MASTER, a puppeteer of emotions and should be revered for it ;) ) you never fail to make me laugh. I feel I bully people into reading books (mainly Liz) a lot



Cait x

A Canadian Girl said...

Ha ha, hilarious post! I've got a few trustworthy blogging friends; now I need to see how good they are on #2 through 5 ;)

Jennifer @ Dream Reads said...

LOL fun list. Thanks for sharing! :)

Jennifer @ Dream Reads

Ning @ DABR said...

haha my blog buddy of course. and Ana from another blog. we call ourselves the "3 musketeers" or we try to at least.

Alexandra said...

"without your other half... you're just a half"
BAHAHAHA. And yet, so true. *stares off into the distance pensively*

Grace Lo said...

Oh my god. Love. It's so difficult to blog without people egging you on! For my blog, I only have a close reader friend to pop by and get into a bookish convo somewhere, and while that's fantastic, there's just something missing!

Aylee said...

Oh my - I would like to know what exactly is going on in that head of yours! Bahaha, this is a brills post. And I agree with everything you're saying in spirit, if not literally, heh.

Princess Ash said...

But they would sell you out? Cold and cruel. xD

Princess Ash said...

A PUPPETEER OF DANGEROUS EMOTIONS. EMOTIONS THAT MAKE ONCE PEACEFUL PEOPLE TURN RABID WITH FOAM AND EVERYTHING. Don't side with her on this, Cait. JUST DON'T.


Liz can take the bullying as much as she dishes it, so I'm not worried. In fact, I think it's imperative that I egg you on and ruin her sanity a little. Just so we could be overseas twins.

Princess Ash said...

You can never go wrong with a bunch of cray cray pals who are also passionate readers.

Princess Ash said...

Laughter IS joy. And I love to spread it. That and cheesecake. Because nobody should be without cheesecake.

Princess Ash said...

Don't dwell *pats back* It won't end well for you.

Princess Ash said...

Love is a very strong word. And I'm happy you used it here, in reaction to this post. BECAUSE IT'S A STRONG WORD. And yeah, it can get lonely without someone to talk books, i get it. Which is why I talk to Cocoa, he understands. Maybe I'll let you meet him one day ;) And I harass my mom into listening too :D

Princess Ash said...

If I let you know, then it wouldn't be a secret. And trust me the secret is cooler than what's really under it.



You just accused my post of being brilliant. I think I <3 you.

Grace Lo said...

*sigh* Most of my friends read, but aren't the ERMAHGERD DID YOU KNOW SO-AND-SO IS WRITING A NEW BOOK kind of reader, and while that's pretty epic for when we discuss the merits of a petting zoo at school, I'd get plenty of awkward twitchy-eye looks when I start freaking out over an amazing book.

Princess Ash said...

OH I HATE THAT. I hate when they eyeball me like I'm some kind of dysfunctional weirdo. I'm just plain weird and should be regarded ONLY as such. Everything still works up here *taps head*


Don't worry, we can freak out together. I'm just a tweet away ;D

Bookworm1858 said...

I blog because I don't have people in my real-life who read like I do. In fact many of them don't read at all! However I am kind of egging on one of my friends to consider setting up a blog...we'll see how that goes. Love the Elf gif-one of my favorite lines!

Grace Lo said...

*pumps fists in air*


ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Made a new friend.

Princess Ash said...

Ohhhh, fun fun FUN. I don't know if I'd ever successfully convince any of my friends. NOT EVEN MY SISTERS. Which would be cool. And *fist-bumps* ANOTHER ELF LOVER. That movie is mah jam :D

Princess Ash said...

*high fives*



Proceed to level 2: make a 2nd friend :D